Friday, June 29, 2007

differences

are you just in awe of your children? i was thinking this morning, it always amazes me how different our girls are from each other. do you ever wonder about that? all three of the girls came from the same 2 people, with the same genetics, but somehow they are so different. the girls look a bit different but you can definitely tell they are sisters. but where i mostly notice the difference is in their personalities. is it because they were born with different personalities, or is it their order of birth, or is it that we parent them different because of their personalities. i know that it is a combination of all of those, but it is just interesting to think about.

what got me thinking about it was something that happened this morning. i had asked nani to take a shower after she made her bed. she went into the bathroom and came back out all ready to get in and asked me to turn on the shower for her. i reminded her that she knew how to turn it on (it is a bathtub shower so you have to turn on the water and then pull up on the little knob on the faucet to route the water up through the shower head). she began to whine that it was too hard for her to pull up on the knob and that she wanted me to do it. again, i reassured her that she could do it and that if it was hard for her all she needed to do was practice. more whining from nani. while all of this was taking place, lala, unbeknownst to us, had gone into the bathroom, turned on the water and pulled the knob up to get the water flowing through the shower head. she went back into her room and started playing again with her bristol blocks. i looked at her amazed and she said, "it's because i knowed how to do it!"

so, the three year old just went and did it, while the six year old "needed" mommie to do it. i think it is because nani is the first child and we did a lot more for her when she was little and so she has come to expect more from us. lala, on the other hand, has a big sister and hasn't had that one-on-one help like nani got at her age. so, in that aspect it is the parenting. however, nani is cautious and thoughtful, whereas lala is independent and curious, which would be a personality difference.

i love the girls and their differences, though it does lead to a bit of frustration at times and a need for some creativity when parenting. what works for nani does not always work for lala and vice versa. it definitely keeps us on our toes! it will be interesting to see what type of personality kawena brings into the mixture!

3 comments:

Bridget said...

It is an intereting question. I read a report once that talked about how like 80% of Harvard students are first born children. Some studies have found first borns have higher IQs then subsequent children. One factor being parents have more time to teach the first child. I definitely notice that in my kids. Or is it also their personality and interest level in learning?

Darilyn said...

I too think about this. I think so much of it is their personality. Sometimes I wonder how much effect as parents we have had on them or how much is because of this inherent personality they were born with. But at the same time I do believe that parent's can foster certain personalities traits. We encourage some things while discouraging others. If Makenzie had been born to another family I have no doubt she still wouldn't like mornings but perhaps she would be more organized. It's interesting.

Amanda said...

I never really think about it but yes, my children are very different from each other. The times that I notice it the most are when I am trying to figure out which discipline to use.

I think that some if it is what we are born with, some placement in the families and some environment. Interesting to think about...thanks!