cuddles

there is nothing sweeter than cuddling with a soft, warm baby. the closeness of their warm, soft skin and the feel of their rapid breathing tickling your neck or face is what being a mother is all about.

it's these sweet, tender moments that every mother lives for. these intimate moments of reflection and quiet are ones that will forever be burned into the memory of every mother. no matter how old our children grow, i can't ever imagine forgetting what it was like to hold one of them in my arms while gently and quietly singing a lullaby just before bed. i will never forget the smell of their soft, baby fine hair just after being bathed.

this being said, i have come to a sad realization today. actually, it is a realization that has been coming slowly to the front of my brain, it's just that today i have finally accepted it. for the past, oh i don't know how long, maybe month or so, almost every time i go to put kawena to bed i will get her all cozy in a blanket and hold her close, (because that is what all babies love, right?) only to have her squirm and push away from me. when i try holding her closer she just pushes harder and gets upset. after a bit of a struggle, i finally give up and lay her in her bed thinking, "fine! i'll just put you in your bed!" she watches me as i walk out and the elated smile on her face is saying, "thank goodness, mom, that's what i wanted you to do!" i close the door behind me with mixed emotions. i am frustrated that she was fighting me, sad that she wouldn't cuddle with me, surprised and a bit hurt that she didn't need me, yet relieved that she can put herself to sleep.

it's amazing to me how different each child comes to us. they all have their own needs and wants. nani, needed us to do everything for her. now, granted, this may simply be because she was our first, and we did do everything for her, willingly. that is until we realized how dependent she was upon us. then, we tried to break all of those "bad" habits, only to find out that it was next to impossible to do. she still is the most dependent upon us.

so, along comes kale'a and we were not going to make the same "mistakes" with her. we were more conscious of the things that we did and didn't do with her. she is much more independent. again, this could be because of the different way we approached parenting with her.

whatever the differences, one thing has been the same with all three of our girls. none of them have been super cuddly. sure, they were cuddly as newborns, but once they actually started doing more than just eating , sleeping, and pooping they have been more interested in the world around them than in cuddling with me. it's something that has been a bit sad for me, but i still hold out hope that one of our babies will be a cuddler. though they haven't been big cuddlers, i have cherished the quiet moments with each of our girls, no matter how short or fleeting those moments have been!

so, long story, long... the realization that i've come to accept is that kawena goes to sleep better in her bed. that is great when we are at home and have access to her crib (it actually can be very nice when i am short on time or the girls are needing me), but does not work out so well when we aren't at home, oh say..., at church. today, i think i heard a total of 1 hour, maybe an hour and a half of our 3 hours of meetings. the little rascal, errr, i mean sweetheart, was so tired but refused to go to sleep. so, i walked the halls! once home and as soon as she was done eating lunch, i took her to her room, laid her down, and didn't hear a peep out of her!

momsense

if you are or will be a mom someday, or if you were a child with a mother (that would be all of us), this is for you! mom's out there, i know you will appreciate this. so, strap on your listening ears because you gotta be quick to catch it all!

wow! how did she get all that into 2 minutes and 55 seconds? can you relate? how many of those have you uttered to your children?

happy beek-day little bro

when i was six years old my parents gave me a little baby brother. i say "gave" me because i begged and pleaded my mom for a baby. she tells me that i am the reason they had more children. whether that is true or not, i don't know, but i am very grateful that they did have more children.

today is the birthday of that little brother they brought home 27 years ago. i wish i could call him up and wish him a happy birthday, but he is on vacation in thailand! lucky guy!

being that it is your birthday, kawika, i wanted to share some of my favorite memories of you:

• you were due to be born on my birthday, so mom, not wanting your arrival to ruin my 6th birthday, planned my party 10 days early on the 26th of september. but i guess you were determined to spoil the party and were born 10 days early on my party day! little stinker! but i got over it because you were so cute!

• i loved seeing your naked little okole (hawaiian translation: bum) with it's mongolian spot (translation: blackish-blue spot found on the okole of many asian babies that looks like a bruise) sunning on the front lawn in the little reed-woven baby bassinet

• gavan and i loved getting you dizzy by spinning you around in the hammock chair hanging from the rafters in the family room of the red house, then putting you down on the ground and watching you stumble around.
  
  
• *colby couldn't pronounce your name so he called you "beeka" and it stuck. your many nicknames beek, beekers, beeka, beeks.



• i loved watching you wrestle with gavan and malia on mom and dad's bed. or should i say i loved watching "mad man beeks" wrestling with "andre the giant" and "meekies the man hunter". man, the names gavan came up with! i don't know why i was never included in these wrestling matches?

• you were such a good sport to let my friends and i dress you up as a little sister, make-up and all! hmmm, maybe that would explain the green dress.

• you were always so brave! never shy like your brother and sister before you. i wish i had more of that in me!

*your speed in the water got you the name of the "flyin' hawaiian" in the newspaper. i was so proud that i was the sister of the "flyin' hawaiian"

• you've always been such a wild hair, both figuratively and literally. i remember hearing about your crazy dance on the stage at a barenaked ladies concert. not only did you dance crazy, but you were wearing a green dress (that's right folks, my brother was sportin' a green dress, dancing on stage with the barenaked ladies)
  
  

  "If I had a million dollars - If I had a million dollars Well, I'd buy you a green dress - but not a real green dress, that's cruel"

*this video is long, but entertaining. great song! at about 1:35, kawika is introduced onto the stage. you'll see why i call him my crazy bro. always the life of the party, never a dull moment with beek!

• you are brilliant (the other green dress wearer in the video was the co-valedictorian with kawika in high school. they competed for the honor and yet remained best friends!)

• eating sushi

• instant messaging and how much the girls love the sounds of the monkey, toilet, and smiley face. "do it again!"

• just you and i playing tumbling dice until 3:00 in the morning knowing you had to work the next morning and i had a nursing baby who could wake up at anytime. we didn't care, we were just having fun together making and breaking our own records.

• we have many of the same characteristic traits, while malia and gavan share similar characteristics. some i can think of, we are detail oriented, perfectionistic, organized- we love a neat and tidy area (i love the story of when you were 3 years old refolding your clean clothes because mom didn't do it right!), very hard on ourselves (remember the major high school report that you lost on the computer, the night before it was due? you practically went into convulsions. your fingers and toes went numb and you were practically in shock! mom had to call dad to come home and it wasn't until you received a blessing that you could finally calm down. that was pretty intense stuff!) driven when it comes to academics/career, frugal with money (i like to call it money smart), good with numbers.


• i love watching you play with kawena. you have such a soft spot for her and it makes sense. it was because of you and your name that i wanted to give her a name with the hawaiian "v". your names are only 2 letters off from each other.



• shopping for pants with you because you needed a woman's opinion, though i don't know how much help i actually was i appreciated you asking me to help.

• i loved staying with you at your apartment. we didn't get much sleep, but we sure had some great late night conversations!

• you show great strength in adversity!

you're a great brother and a wonderful example, beek. happy birthday and may this be your best year yet! i love you!

first day

today was lala's first day of little warriors preschool. she has been waiting for this day ever since nani started school back at the beginning of the month, and honestly, so have i! she was super excited for it to be her turn to go to school.

she picked out her clothes the night before and had her backpack ready to go. (don't you just love how her backpack is almost as big as she is! it's a good thing there wasn't anything in it or she might have just tipped right over!) we walked nani to the bus at 7:30 and then came back to wake kawena up from a dead sleep. lala had no problems at all being dropped off at class. she went right in and never looked back!

when we picked her up after school, her teacher told me that lala had done incredibly well today. what mother doesn't love to hear that! it was a success. lala was happy and excited about her first day of school and can't wait to go back tomorrow morning!

let me tell you, it is so nice to be down to just one child! i have just over 3 hours of just me and kawena! i ran so many errands and i was done before 9:30! wow! things sure get done a heck of a lot faster when i just have one child and that one child isn't walking!! i know i'm lovin' this!

i can't believe that our little lala is in preschool. she looked like such a big girl carrying her huge backpack into school this morning. it is so strange to think that she will be four in 3 weeks! crazy! and kawena will be 1! it is so true that time goes by faster the older we get! i can't even imagine how fast it will go when i am 80!

sunday siesta

kawena is sick today. she has had a cold for a few days now and she is just miserable. i always feel bad when my baby can't breath out of her nose without snot bubbling out. and she just absolutely hates getting her nose wiped! i don't blame her, but what choice do i have?!

so, this morning at church she was so tired, but wouldn't sleep. i knew she would need to go down for her nap as soon as possible once we got home. we fed her as fast as we could so she could rest, but apparently it was not fast enough! i was watching her as she would take a bite and her head would start wobbling and her eyelids would flutter. the poor child was just exhausted! i should have been a good mom and gotten her out to put her into her bed, but it was just so dang cute. so, i called mitch into the kitchen and we both watched as our miserable, sick child dozed off for her sunday siesta at the lunch table.

and no, i did not leave her there. i woke her up and cleaned her off and got her dressed and put her in her comfy little crib with her cozy little blanket, just before i laid myself down and curled up on the comfy couch with a cozy little blanket for my sunday siesta!

don't you just love a sunday afternoon siesta?! just heavenly!

always family friendly

you won't ever have to worry about the content on my blog. the only bad thing they found was that i used the word "poop" 1 time. but hey, what can you expect from a 1 year old!

a hundy

wow! one hundred posts! amazing! when i reluctantly started this blog, at the urging of bridget (thank you very much!), i NEVER thought i would get to one hundred posts, let alone in a short 4 months! i guess i really took to this blogging thing and ran with it. it's been a wonderful addition to my life!

first of all, i'd like to thank my husband for having such a great sense of humor about the whole thing and for actually encouraging me to continue. i love to hear him say, "you've gotta blog about that!"

next, i'd like to thank my camera for all of the wonderful pictures i am able to post. pictures add a great depth to the blog that i couldn't have achieved without my camera. having fun pictures actually makes me want to blog more.

of course, i couldn't have made it to one hundred without my lovely children. not only are they photogenic and adorable, but they provide me with great material to work with. i shiver to think how boring this blog would be without my children. what would it be without my swearing 10 month old, or lala's singing talent (here), or nani's dancing. what would it be without kawena's blow-out's or messy face, and nani's reading abilities or lessons learned? what would my blog be without lala's many, many, many comical moments? i don't even want to imagine it.

i'd like to thank my friends who invite me, or let me invite myself, on fun adventures and outings. and, of course, for those friends who faithfully read my blog and actually want to know what's going on in my little corner of the world. thank you for your many comments, i love to read them and i love knowing you have stopped by!

i need to thank my computer and the internet for making it all possible. i, literally, couldn't have done it without you!

lastly, but definitely not least, i would like to thank my parents and sister, as well, for reading and commenting! i am so happy that malia started her own blog, at my persistence so that we can see all of the fun they are having in hawai'i and stay more connected. now we just need the brothers and parents to start their own, too!

wow! that was a lot to say! basically, thank you all for helping me get to my 100th post!!

squirrels

this morning at breakfast lala and i saw a very cute squirrel on our back deck (advantages of having a forest for a backyard, many woodland creatures) and he/she was holding a nut in it's little paws. it was so cute.

just minutes ago, while eating lunch lala saw another squirrel out our window, but this one was in a tree.

lala: "i see another squirrel!"

me: "oh, is it the same one?"

lala: "no, this one has a little tummy. the other one had a little bit bigger of a tummy."

me: "oh."

lala: "i think this one is the mommie because mommies don't have big tummy's." (i hope she thinks that because of my tummy. haha!)

me: "except when they are..."

lala: "having a baby."

me: "that's right! maybe the other squirrel was the mommie and she was getting food for her babies."

lala: "yeah! it was the mommie because she had girl lips!"

me: (trying to keep a straight face) "oh really! and what do girl lips look like?"

lala: "i don't know. (thoughtful pause) actually, i do know."

me: "well what do they look like?"

lala: "well, i just can't tell you."

she leaves me no option but to conjure up my own image in my head . . .

so, this is what the squirrel with girl lips must have looked like!

things i've learned in the first grade

nani started the 1st grade, all day school, last week (is my baby actually big enough to be in school all day?? i can't believe it!) .

here are some of the things i've learned so far in the first grade:

• waking up at 6:45 every morning doesn't get easier
• getting to bed earlier because you have to get up early to get your daughter to the bus is just as hard
• i am definately not a morning person
• i am a night person
• i get a lot more done when i am forced to wake up early
• i enjoy all day school
• there is never enough time at lunch to actually eat lunch, especially when recess is right afterward
• errands are much easier with only 2 kids in tow
• when your daughter's bus runs out of gas on the way home from school, you start to panick when said bus doesn't show up at 2:45
• when your daughter tells you that her teacher has moved her desk several times you wonder why
• the excitement for being woken up early for school wears off by about day 3
• getting all three girls down for bed by 7:00 each night may actually become a reality(tonight at 6:45 lala told me she was tired)
• having the girls in bed by 7:00 is amazingly wonderful
• i like the 1st grade

glue

me: nani are you gluing?

nani (from the other room): umm, yeah.

that didn't sound too convincing to me, but okay.

10 seconds later...

nani: uhhh, mom. where's the glue?

hmmm? didn't she just tell me she was gluing already?

toilets

lala (exuberantly): "mommie! i'm old enough and big enough to clean the toilets now!" as she is tackling the ugly, pink ring that has taken up residence in the toiletbowl.

two days ago lala told nani, "i get to do the toilets!" in her "neiner, neiner, neeeeeiner" voice.

am i the only one with children that fight over who gets to clean the toilets??!

go ahead! be my guest! i'll give up that chore anyday!

dirt

i don't know what it is about kids and dirt, but lala sure had a great time digging in it yesterday.

i bought some new flowers to replace the sad, dying ones that were in our front yard. so, after i put kawena down for her nap lala and i had some mommy/daughter time. she was such a big helper digging holes for me. before we started she told me, "i will dig ALL of the holes. only me. you can put the plants in the holes!" that lasted for about a minute. we had something like 20 holes to dig!

i love working in the dirt with lala. she makes yard work so much more enjoyable with her constant chatter! she is my ray of sunshine! it's been really nice to have one on one time with lala every afternoon while nani is in ALL day school and kawena is napping!

give me lala and a bunch of dirt and we could have a great time any day!

one of God's creatures

while lala and i were planting new flowers in our yard yesterday we came across this:



it was pretty exciting. we had seen worms and roly poly bugs and caterpillars, but never a snake! i was very impressed that when i asked lala to hold it for a picture, she didn't even hesitate! that's my girl!


lala was excited to show nani when she got home from school and daddy when he got home from work. she found a temporary housing facility, in a shoebox just perfect for a snake, complete with dirt and weeds! we kept him there until nani and mitch got home. then lala said she wanted to keep him for one night. so we did!


this morning, before we released him back to his home, nani wanted to hold him. she was a bit squirmy with the snake and dropped him several times before mitch could snap this picture:

ahh! home at last!

good bye our slithery friend!

oneonta falls x 2

if you'll remember last week, we went as a family on this hike. when darilyn read my post about the hike, she asked where it was because she wanted to hike it.

so, tuesday night we were at activity days and darilyn mentioned she was going to do the hike on wednesday. i thought how fun it would be to go again and by the end of the night i had invited myself to crash her hike with merilee. i didn't even realize that i had invited myself until later that night. then i began thinking, "how rude! you totally just invited yourself! she didn't even invite you and you just went ahead and said, 'hey i'm tempted to go too!'" so, then i started feeling pretty bad that i did that.

however, after doing the hike with darilyn and merilee, i'm really glad that i invited myself! they are two very awesome ladies! i had so much fun with them. when lala found out we were going again on the same hike she got really excited! but when she found out that darilyn was coming, her eyes got all big and she got the hugest smile on her face and said, "i love sister may!!" (darilyn had subsititued in lala's class in primary the sunday before) lala wanted darilyn to sit in the back with her on the drive to and from the hike and lala literally talked the whole way there. she just jabbered and jabbered. merilee and i were sitting in the front just laughing at how much that girl had to say!

this time around, i was wearing the baby on my back. merilee and darilyn took turns helping lala maneuver the log jam and they both carried her several times over the water! i couldn't have made it without their help! thanks! unfortunately, because of the baby i was unable to rockclimb over the deepest part of the river and it was deeper than i thought it was! whoa, it was cool and refreshing, and a bit shocking!!

thanks for letting me invite ourself on the hike. my girls and i really loved it! you two are so fun and i'd love to invite myself again sometime! (i hope you don't mind me stealing your picture, merilee)

hello, my name is mahina, and i'm a blogaholic!

75%How Addicted to Blogging Are You?

Mingle² - Dating Site

i've considered going to the local b.a.(blogaholics annonymous) meetings, i've heard they've got a great 12 step program. but i'm not so sure! i don't really think i've got a problem. i mean, i know i could stop at anytime! plus, i'm only 75% addicted, it could be worse!

maybe i'd check it out with a friend. are you addicted enough to come with me?

awww, shucks!

awww, shucks! (bashful look through lashes) i have been nominated for my first award! thank you amanda! i am flattered! i've never been given a "nice" award before! but there is a first for everything, i suppose.

i gather from reading other blogs, that it is now my turn to nominate three, i guess three is the lucky number, bloggers to receive this same award. so, here goes:

the first award, hands down, goes to my little sister, malia. she is the epitome of nice! ask anyone in my family and they all would agree that she is, by far, the nicest of the tarayao sisters. she just oozes sweetness! if only i could have an ounce of her sweetness, i think my kids and husband would be beyond themselves with joy!

the second award goes to rachel, of the wilde things. here is a cute mom of three "wilde boys", with baby number 4 on the way, i'm hoping for a girl! she is an excellent mommie and finds time to sew and quilt beautiful things, bake amazing cakes and goodies, and seems to always have a smile on her face! she is just a "has it all together" kind of girl and i admire all that she does!

and the third award goes to elizabeth, my dear friend and neighbor. new to the blogging world, after much coercion and nagging, i am happy to have her finally join the ranks. since she moved in, over three years ago, she has spoiled me! she is always so willing to help me out by watching my kids, or keeping an eye on our house while we were gone for 7 weeks, she even cleaned my house when she was going through a rough time! (girl, i should have been cleaning your house!) she is an amazing woman!

so, you three nice ladies, it is your turn to nominate your three nice bloggers and keep the love going! and always remember, "nice matters"!

i hesitate

i hesitate to write this post because it involves swearing. my ears have always been hypersensitive to swearing and i always cringe when i hear any form of swearing, but this time, it just made me laugh so hard i was crying. so, here's the story...

we have a tradition in our family that we have breakfast for dinner every fast sunday. we also have a tradition in our family (passed down from my side of the family, unfortunately for mitch) that i get the day off from cooking (have i told you how much i love sundays!!), so mitch does dinner every sunday.

being that it is fast sunday, we had breakfast for dinner. the girls ultimate FAVORITE breakfast is sticky buns (aka pull-apart rolls, monkey bread, etc.), so that is what mitch made, along with quiche and orange-strawberry julius.

anyway, i was feeding kawena some sticky buns, which she was thoroughly enjoying. there was a lull in the dinner conversation and clear as day kawena says, "daaaamn!" all drawn out like that. it was the most adult sounding word (meaning how clear it was spoken) we've ever heard her say. my eyes got all big and i looked at mitch, who was already looking at me. and we just started laughing.

mitch says, "mahina, i guess you're either not feeding her fast enough and she's saying 'da.. speed it up', or she loves it so much that she's saying, 'da.. this is goood stuff!'" which sent us into fits of laughter. the girls, of course, are completely perplexed by this outburst of laughter coming from their parents.

i, then, point out, "that is the clearest word i've ever heard her say!" to which mitch replies, "yea. let's see her first words were, 'dada', then 'mama', then 'daaamn'!"

by that point, i was crying i was laughing so hard!

love radiating

tonight after we put the two oldest to bed in their shared bedroom, i was in the next room nursing kawena and this is what i heard:

lala (yelling): you never...

nani (softly chanting): i'm not listening

lala (still yelling) ever play...

nani: i'm not listening

lala: games with me!!!

nani: i'm not listening

lala (still yelling, only at the top of her lungs, now): you are a baloney, baloney, poop! (don't know where they come up with these creative names!)

nani (now yelling): just be quiet! i want to sleep and you are being to loud!

lala (yelling): i am not being loud!

nani: stop it! i'm going to sleep! quiet!

SILENCE

two minutes later lala is heard pounding or kicking (i can't tell which it was) the wall.

nani (quietly): stop that!

lala: i'm not listening, i'm not listening...

nani: lala stop kicking the wall!

lala: you're being to loud! stop talking!

can't you just feel the love radiating from their bedroom! the sisterly love is just too much! sharing rooms is such bliss!