Monday, May 09, 2011

WHY???… a bad mommie moment

tonight was not a good night!  i had one of my “bad mommie” moments!


let me explain…


as i was getting dinner ready tonight, our sweet kawena, who is 4, told me she had to go potty.  so, off she ran down the hall to the bathroom.  about five minutes later she slinked into the kitchen, sat down at the kitchen table and quickly hid behind the table.  as she did this i caught a quick glimpse of her hair and a little voice inside my head said, “something isn’t right!”


so, i said, “kawena, what did you do to your hair?!”  she didn’t budge.


“kawena, let me see your hair!!” she slowly raised her head above the table and that is when something snapped inside of me and that is when my “bad mommie” moment began!!


i began to yell, “what did you do to your hair??!  oh my gosh!  WHY did you do that??!!”


her very sad reply, through tears, was, “i don’t know?!!” then she broke down into sobs.


now, if i was a good mom at that moment, i would have realized that she needed me to take it down a notch (or 2 or 3) and comfort her, but like i said… “bad mommie” moment! 


i was in disbelief that she would take scissors to her hair in such a horrible way.  i just was so shocked that i just kept ranting about how horrible her hair looked and “why?  why would you do that?” and “now we have to chop it off”, etc. etc…


i feel so awful because that is not what she needed at the moment.


she ran off to her room and stayed there until dinner was ready.  it was good because it gave me time.  once i had calmed down and gotten over the shock of it all, i finally returned to my “good mom” self. 


i called her to dinner and she came to the table.  i could tell she was very upset about the whole thing and that she didn’t realize what she was doing when she cut her hair, she did know it would be so permanent!  i sat down next to kawena and held her as she cried into my chest. i told her that it was just hair and that it would grow back.  and she cried. we just sat there like that and she cried some more.  i took her into my lap and cuddled her close to me until her crying subsided.  i told her i was sorry that i yelled at her and told her that i should not have done that.


when jessie (our help for the night) came over, kawena hid under her blanket and said through her sobs, “i don’t want jessie to see it!”  it broke my little heart to hear my sweet kawena crying and so ashamed.


as the night went on we all got used to the new kawena.  things went on as usual, but every time i looked at her i just couldn’t believe she actually did that!!


i called a friend who said she would come over tomorrow morning to fix it.  we shall see what she can do with it…


just before bed she came to me and said, with a smile on her face, “my hair looks really bad!”  i simply said, “yes it does!”  and then she said, “but cathy will fix it tomorrow and then it will grow back out.”  i sadi, “that’s right!”  then she said, “i’m never going to do that again!” 


thank goodness for that!!


now, i know you are all dying to see the pictures so here you go…


what i found in the bathroom:




oh how i despise you, scissors!!  i knew i should have picked you up and put you away when i first saw you lying on the hall floor!


2011May09_0013such beautiful hair!  at least she cleaned up after she was done chopping!!


sad kawena2she was so sad!


left side


right side just last week i was commenting on how long and beautiful her hair had gotten!  it was so beautiful!  

sad kawenadon’t those sad puppy dog eyes just break your heart??  they do mine!


i really don’t know what can be done to salvage that haircut, it’s like a mullet gone bad!!  what am i saying… a mullet is bad!! 


we shall see what magic can be worked tomorrow morning!  stay tuned for the “new do”!  it’s a good thing she is such a pretty little thing… she’d probably look good bald… though i hope to never have to see her bald!!


Rachel P said...

Oh, man! Poor Kawena. And don't be so hard on yourself. I would have FLIPPED out. You're such a good mom, your kids are so lucky to have you. I can't wait to see the after pics! I will miss her beautiful hair, but like you said, it will grow back. Maybe she heard me saying last week that I wanted to chop my hair and that was her inspiration..... ;-P

Toni Moxley said...

It's moments like these that we all learn; she will probably never cut her hair again, and you will always remember to take a deep breath. We all have "bad mommy" moments, although I don't think it was bad, you have to remember how blessed your kids are to have you as a mom, there are some women out there who don't have half as much as you do!
And yes those puppy eyes break my heart, so make sure you post a big smiling face when she shows off her new hair cut! :)

Amanda D said...

I would have (and have!) reacted the same way. You did the right thing though by telling her you were wrong and sorry. Can't wait to see the new 'do!

Rachel's Roost said...

Oh, I live in fear of this moment and how I will react!

We have a friend who just had her daughter do this, and they gave her a pixie cut, and you know, it's the cutest thing you've ever seen. Her blog is private, but I'm going to see if I can copy and paste pictures to send you!

Nadia said...

Oh Mahina! I'm so sorry. She really does love scissors. Maybe she'll be an awesome hair stylish when she grows up.

Linda said...

Hi Mahina,

I can relate to "bad mommie moments." There are moments I lost it with my older kids. I am grateful for forgiveness and love. Love heals all wounds and forgiveness gives us new beginnings. I also like "do overs" where we request rewinding to a spot that went "south" on us and redo it from our hearts and express it how we really desire it to come across.

Kawena's face does express her feelings so completely. All your children are as beautiful as you and your husband. So grateful we are Ohana.

Love to you all,

Linda Radford

jessica said...

So sad! Good thing she is so beautiful that even with a mullet she is adorable.

Malia said...

When I saw the first picture i was like... "Man Mahina is freaking out about nothing... just a few strands there!" Then I saw the trash can full of hair! Can't wait to see the fix it pix! She'll be able to pull off any cute hair cut no matter how short :) Love you!

Sophi Sunshine said...

Her little frown is so dang cute!

This is something my Sophia did a couple of times....though not quite so drastic!

I love that you documented it. You and Kawena will get a good laugh out of it when she gets older!

tutu lady said...

Oh, Kawena, so sad. No more tangle, tears! I'm sad - I'll be missing that pretty long hair. Love you anyway!

ashley said...

and i am dying laughing now cause she does faces just like ivy does! hahaha! kids...

Julie said...

I'm surprised she let you take all those photos. Poor thing. Oh how many times have I felt regret for something I've done. I feel for her. I think you handled things beautifully. If you didn't react, it would have been rather robot-like. You apologized and put it all right, so good for you.