Thursday, October 02, 2008

the good and the not so good

first of all i want to thank you all for the congratulations and well wishes! i knew i could count on you guys to encourage us through this crazy time!


i know many of you were surprised by our little announcement, but those who know me, shouldn't be too surprised. i have a tendency to keep it a secret for as long as i possibly can. i don't know, it just seems to make the 9 months go so much quicker. i mean, look, i've only got 4 more months to go!


typically, i choose not to tell people when i am pregnant just because it is fun. this time around, however, there were other reasons, as well.


so, by way of explanation...


the good: fertility drugs that make it possible for us to conceive

the not so good: the adverse side effects of fertility drugs (ohss)


the good: in may, we got pregnant with twins (yes it was during my whole fertility "drama")

the not so good: in june, we lost one of them at 5 weeks


the good: at the 6 week ultrasound, we saw a good strong heartbeat

the not so good: at that same ultrasound we saw the empty sac of the baby we lost


the good: at the mid pregnancy ultrasound, 2 weeks ago,  we were able to see our baby. baby is healthy and growing properly. baby has all 10 fingers and all 10 toes. everything looks great with baby. baby is VERY active, the girls were laughing at how much it moved around during the ultrasound

the not so good: at the ultrasound we also learned that i have COMPLETE placenta previa. unless the placenta moves out of the way (very slight chance) of the cervical opening my only option is a c-section (coming from this mama who has delivered all three babies naturally without any drugs, it is hard for me to take) i DO NOT want a c-section! not only that, there are several other possible complications with this diagnosis: bleeding during pregnancy, bedrest, hospital bedrest, low birth weight, having to take the baby early, hemorrhage at delivery, to name a few, not to mention that i will be in a new place with new people. but more concerning is the fact that i will be without my support system of friends that i've come to love, and rely upon dearly over the past 8 years  while living here in oregon


the good: i have come to rely heavily upon prayers and faith and blessings. my family held a fast on my behalf and we all went to the temple this past saturday. i feel my faith increasing through this trial and i feel closer to my family and the Lord. i feel a peace that only comes through the spirit that everything will be alright

the not so good: i was an emotional wreak for about a week after learning my diagnosis and i still have my days, but just not as often as that first week


the good: we are having a baby!!


Sarah said...

Well I'm super excited for you! That's unfortunate that you have to have a c-section but at least you get a baby out of it! : )

I"m sure you guys will make friends quickly in your new home. You guys are so great.

jessica said...

I know all about placenta previa. My dear friend Kerry went through it with her last baby. You will be just fine, as much as the thought of a c section is no will be best for you and baby and that is all that matters.

And the beauty of the church is that you have a ward family waiting for you with open arms. Too bad you weren't moving in this direction because I would totally LOVE to be there for you!

Melissa-Mc said...

Okay, more questions?

1. So when you posted the bumps and potholes post in June, did you know you were pregnant?

2. Do you know the gender of this baby?

Congratulations! I am so happy for you. I wish I'd been blogging with my last pregnancy. It would have been fun to announce it via blog.

Teresa said...

I'm soooo behind on blogs (as in, I have almost 500 entries I still haven't read - not that I have 500 blogs that I read, just that I'm WAY behind!).

CONGRATULATIONS!!! We are SO excited for you guys! Reading your entry certainly brought a whole range of emotions. I'm so sorry for the loss of one of the twins. I don't know if you know, but they think Kyrie probably had a twin too. I'm sure Siouxsie will say something about that (or maybe not).

I'm so sorry about the placenta previa. Luckily in cases like this there is an option to do a c-section whereas in the olden days, no such luck. But even knowing it's the right thing for you certainly doesn't make it an easy thing to go through, especially considering your views on birth. I don't know if you knew or not, but Leslie had a placenta previa with Aurelia. She didn't have any complications with her c-section. The whole thing went well. We hope and pray the same for you. Feel free to email if you ever need to chat about it. Not that I know what it's like to have one, but I can image/understand how difficult it must be!

Just move to Texas...we'll take care of you;-)


Amanda D said...

Oh, Mahina, I am so happy for you and your little family. I will be praying that all goes well for you. Please, keep us posted.

So, do you know the sex of the baby? Want to share?

Bridget said...

So sorry to hear about the placenta previa. You are so funny that you kept all of these things to yourself for so long! May just seems like so long ago. When did the whole ohss fit into this story? You're going to keep us all in suspense about the gender, aren't you?

Rachel's Roost said...

Oh my goodness! So many announcements! So sorry about the placenta previa. That stinks that you will have a c-section. I know it's not what you want. And so sorry about the twinner. What a miracle that the other little guy/gal hung on! Hurray for that! We'll pray for a safe and uncomplicated pregnancy. And I'd say you're at about as high of stress as it comes. Are you sure you want to do our photos Sat? Although I can't wait to see you and chat more! See you then. . .

By the way. . . I'm assuming you're keeping the sex a secret as well, as you could have found out? You're so mysterious these days!

Elizabeth said...

I love your sense of perspective! I know that it has been so hard for you, and I hope and pray that you don't have to have a c-section and that the remainder of the pregnancy is happy and healthy. I'm so glad the baby, whatever gender he/she is :-), is healthy!

We will miss you so much, but remember that we will remain connected through the miracle of blogging and e-mail and a visit next summer!

Mandy said...

I think you must be the strongest woman I have ever met! I admire you so much and I will miss you dearly.
I know you won't tell what the gender is but I cant wait to find out!...oh the suspense.

Becca said...

So, as much as I enjoy the secretiveness of not telling people you are pregnant, I think a little support through all of that from your friends could have been helpful. You are a strong woman. I am sorry about the loss of the other baby - how hard! Wonderful that one of them will still come to join your family. Do you ever find out the gender? I can't remember.

Michal said...

wow, have you had a lot to deal with of good and bad in the past six months. and your move and mitch's job and everything, too.
as someone who has only had c-sections through no choice of her own, i can attest to the fact that although it's not ideal, the main thing is to have the baby come in the safest possible way for both you and baby. i remember fasting and praying that i would be able to deliver henry vaginally after having had an emergency c with kimball. i was devastated when, after laboring all day and not progressing past a 1, they rolled me into surgery. but how could i mourn about it for long when i had a sweet baby in my arms half an hour later?
i hope and pray that all goes well for the rest of your pregnancy. don't over do it with the move and all, okay? it's okay to ask for help, even if it's in a new ward.

Emily said...

Hi Mahina!! I am so glad to be reconnected with you! I have been telling my brother Tyler to tell Kawika to get your email for me fo awhile now. Somehow we lost touch! Yeah for blogs! Well, just so you know, I had a full placenta previa with my baby Logan (20 mos. now) I felt the same as you.... so scared and it being my first c-section I didn't know what to expect. The C-section was not bad, but the recovery is longer and not fun. Congratulations on baby #4! Where will you be for Christmas? We will be in Eugene so if you haven't moved by then, we will have to make a visit! Talk to you soon!

Pineapple Princess said...

Now the muu muu is making much more sense! How did you kids keep the secret?

Losing twins seems to be fairly common (but doesn't make it any easier for you). It happened to my mom with her last pregnancy, except that she didn't know she was pregnant with twins and when she went for the D&C after the miscarriage, the Dr. must have been inspired to do an ultrasound and discovered baby #2 that could have unknowingly met a terrible end.

I know sometimes with placenta previa that it migrates as the baby grows. I am sure you know that already. That is where my prayers are. Good luck Mahina.

Danielle said...

What a good secret keeper you are. So sorry to hear about the loss of one of the twins. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I too have never had a c-section, so I can't give you any helpful advice, but I will pray that things will go the way the Lord wants. My sister-in-law would always remind me, when I would share my concern about a c-section, that the end goal is to get that baby out as healthy as possible.

Sara said...

Mahina - first of all I want to offer my congratulations! Wow - this baby is a total miracle and an answer to fasting and prayer. I'm so excited for you guys!

Second, I am so sorry about the loss of the baby's twin. That must've been really scary and such a loss on top of everything else you were going through.

Third, I can relate a tiny bit about the placenta previa - my last ultrasound showed that the placenta is really low/close to the cervix so my OB has been talking about a c-section which totally scares me after my 3 other deliveries. I'm not totally opposed to it because I will do whatever I have to to get our baby here safely but it is definitely not my first choice. I'll have another ultrasound in a few weeks to see if the placenta has moved at all - cross your fingers!

Last, I'm just wondering if you've ever noticed how close in age all 3- and now 4 - of our kids are??? Hannah was born at the end of Feb. and Nani came just a few months later right? Then, we had Charlie in October of '03 - when was Lala born? And I know that Kawena was born on Oct. 13th because that's my husband's (and my nephew's)birthday and our Rachel was born just 5 days later on the 18th. So now I'm due at the end of January with #4 and you're due in early Feb, right? I just think it's weird is all. If I ever get pregnant again (or if you do) we'll have to let the other know what's coming... hahaha!

Congrats again and good luck with everything. A new job and a huge move in the middle of a pregnancy must be crazy!

Malia said...


Scott-n-Allison said...

See you tonight...we'll talk then!

ashley said...

roll-er-coaster! guess you gotta take the bad with the good. you guys have more then enough to think about, but i am sure like you said, the Lord will take care of you!

devri said...

i am a stalker but I want to share my story with you, I have a baby boy who is 5 months old, he had a twin, they were both fine untill 16 weeks when we found out that one had a whole in his heart, but they said that he would just need surgery after birth, well heavenly father had a different story planned, they were in seperate sacs, one died at around 20 weeks, but I did not abort it, I carried it to birth, and had to endure the pain and sickness, and my husband actually saw the baby come out, not me, I chose not too.

So my story is this, I am sorry for the loss, but in the end, you have one healthy baby, the lord does things for reasons, and we don't need to understand we just need to obey and have faith.

just take care of yourself, let the little things go, and you will be ok. if you want to hear the whole story about brave little Naulu, you can visit my blog.

Brewer Bunch said...

Wow, Mahina - it sounds like you have been through the ringer! I am so excited for you. My first pregnancy, the whole time through I kept saying to myself, "I can deal with anything, but a c-section. Just don't let it be a c-section!" Sure enough... c-section it was! I can relate to how you feel about not wanting one. I'm so sorry about that. I am glad they have found this early so that they can monitor you for the rest of the time and make sure that everything turns out great!
Also, congrats on the move. As the weather starts to turn here and I am trying to brace myself for another LONG, FRIGID winter, I will be more than a wee bit jealous of you in New Mexico!

meganconser said...

Congratulations on your baby! Sorry for this crazy rollercoaster you have been on! Geez! The good does tend to come with the bad, but it seems the good helps us forget the bad. And now you are adding another smile to your mix! Yay! I have a marginal placenta previa- found out with some major spotting and a trip to the ER. But they put me on bed rest and that took care of that, after abut a week and a major slow down in bleeding they said I simply need to take it easy-no easy task. Here's to hoping all will work out for both of us the way we want it to. Of course I don't want a c-section, but whatever it takes to get this next little one here and keep me around to enjoy it! Good luck with your future changes-- I will be keeping an eye on you and your beautiful girls! Love, Megan

Diana said...

One word: WOW.
...Congratulations on the pregnancy...adding you to my prayers. I know everything will be A OK. :)

Jessica said...

What a rollercoaster...good thing to know that you get to get off--with a BABY! I will say prayers that that placenta previa goes away and that the baby stays so strong and healthy!

Katie Smith said...

Congratulations Mahina! We will be hoping and praying for you and that baby that all will go well and you won't have to deal with any of the complications that are possible.

Ilene said...

What?! I am so behind in my blog world. CONGRATS!!!

What a blessing for you guys; albeit one that has had plent of ups and downs, huh?

The c-section will be fine. So long as you have a lovely baby, that is all that matters, right?

Nichole said...

Mahina~ I just wanted to peek in on you and see how you are doing with your move & your pregnancy. I am so sorry to hear about loosing one of your twin babies.

I feel your pain. We couldn't get pregnant for awhile with our 4th and when we finally did I was so excited! But at about 13 weeks I was devastated to find out that I would be loosing the baby. I had to go in for a D&C...which was horrible...the results came back and said something about my "abortion"!!!...which it truely felt like they had done...just ripped my baby out of me! Anyway I was so broken hearted. I cried alot! I asked my Dr. for more clomid...he upped my dose & we got pregnant with our twins. Unfortunatley I had to have a c-section as well. So I know exactly how you is hard to face after 3 natural deliveries. I was really upset about the c-section but didn't even care when it got down to the safety of the babies lives. My little "Malia" wasn't doing so good at first & we thought something was really wrong...I even worried that we would loose her. After worrying about her the c-section seemed like nothing. All I cared about in the end was my baby. (The healing process will be longer but you will have your little babe safe in your arms.)

I think the Lord allows us to go through these experiences to test us to see if we will stay true to him. You were always such a good example to me. No matter what you were always optimistic about everything. I think you have had more on your plate lately because you have always been so strong & diligent! You are just getting more trials all at once because that is what it takes to really test you! The trials you are going through are just making you a stronger wife & mother. You have always been such an amazing woman. I know that the Lord will help you through this one too. Fortunatley the gospel is the same everywhere. We have moved a few times...and it is amazing how being a member of the church gives you a built in support system wherever you go. Too bad I didn't get to see you before your big move...I feel like jumping in my car & driving to your house right now! We just moved to the neighboring city of Sherwood! I am glad I found your blog...I have always wondered what happened to you. Good luck in your new home...I am sure there is a ward waiting for a strong family to move in. Well keep in

sarahseekingsanity said...

I am super excited and still can't believe you are not telling us what you are having. I hope you guys are enjoying the move.