first of all i want to thank you all for the congratulations and well wishes! i knew i could count on you guys to encourage us through this crazy time!
i know many of you were surprised by our little announcement, but those who know me, shouldn't be too surprised. i have a tendency to keep it a secret for as long as i possibly can. i don't know, it just seems to make the 9 months go so much quicker. i mean, look, i've only got 4 more months to go!
typically, i choose not to tell people when i am pregnant just because it is fun. this time around, however, there were other reasons, as well.
so, by way of explanation...
the good: fertility drugs that make it possible for us to conceive
the not so good: the adverse side effects of fertility drugs (ohss)
the good: in may, we got pregnant with twins (yes it was during my whole fertility "drama")
the not so good: in june, we lost one of them at 5 weeks
the good: at the 6 week ultrasound, we saw a good strong heartbeat
the not so good: at that same ultrasound we saw the empty sac of the baby we lost
the good: at the mid pregnancy ultrasound, 2 weeks ago, we were able to see our baby. baby is healthy and growing properly. baby has all 10 fingers and all 10 toes. everything looks great with baby. baby is VERY active, the girls were laughing at how much it moved around during the ultrasound
the not so good: at the ultrasound we also learned that i have COMPLETE placenta previa. unless the placenta moves out of the way (very slight chance) of the cervical opening my only option is a c-section (coming from this mama who has delivered all three babies naturally without any drugs, it is hard for me to take) i DO NOT want a c-section! not only that, there are several other possible complications with this diagnosis: bleeding during pregnancy, bedrest, hospital bedrest, low birth weight, having to take the baby early, hemorrhage at delivery, to name a few, not to mention that i will be in a new place with new people. but more concerning is the fact that i will be without my support system of friends that i've come to love, and rely upon dearly over the past 8 years while living here in oregon
the good: i have come to rely heavily upon prayers and faith and blessings. my family held a fast on my behalf and we all went to the temple this past saturday. i feel my faith increasing through this trial and i feel closer to my family and the Lord. i feel a peace that only comes through the spirit that everything will be alright
the not so good: i was an emotional wreak for about a week after learning my diagnosis and i still have my days, but just not as often as that first week
the good: we are having a baby!!